The Newscasters’ Insights
It used to be spelled “CHOICE”
by T. Shepherds
As we enter a new school year – many of us feel the excitement of youth. Children (pre-K -Elementary) with their first experiences of school, feelings of acceptance, new stimulation to learn and the beginning of being a part of something.
Then there is the middle school student who has their chosen group of friends, knows just enough to feel like they can handle anything and the challenge of learning enough to move on soon to high school.
The High Schooler is more than confident, thinks they can handle anything, has a general idea of their future (which is severely handicapped by the school scene) and has their own group who now meet at any given time in a pre-arranged location to plot their future (good or bad).
Most of us can relate to the first two groups and their levels of trust, confidence and willingness to listen to parents, teachers and people of authority, but the last group in many cases leaves us a little uneasy. Why?
Many of us blame technology and our fast-paced lifestyles. The need “Keep up with the Jones” (an old saying that started a few decades back as our lives began to accelerate).
This meant if someone in your circle of influence took an opportunity to “get” the newest and the best – you should also! (Note: I said should not could).
So now let’s take this whole observation to the adult level.
When in kindergarten/elementary, our family had a stay-at-home mom (person). Who chooses to not take an outside job so as to get the family ready to join the “Jones”. That person chooses to put family first and paid a dear price later as every other family that “choose the Jones” moved onward and upward; at least in the eyes of other families, PTA’s and even public couples’ group many times based out of churches.
Take a moment and think about those family choices and now they evolved into our current perceptions of “Choice”. Most families with the anchor mom had a moral code at home.
They had family responsibilities (not media based – as these families probably could not afford these perceived absolute extras). So, they had chores that made the family unit closer, resilient, caring and thoughtful. Children came home excited to ‘share” their day of learning with that parent. That parents had time to listen and share back to that child what those encounters meant to their hearts and build a natural connection to the family and learning.
Those same children not only did their homework but helped keep the family running. They had homework/school time allotted but only after they built up the family unit by learning to assist with food preparation, laundry, yard work and general cleaning of the family unit.
They learned that school brought them new opportunities IF they used those same values from home to work with classmates to share, work together and build relationships.
Meanwhile the families without that based person/parent were too tired/stressed by the end of their day. They felt challenged to get their children from school to home. They were thankful for a new technology gadget to get themselves a few quiet moments.
NO time to listen, share and build that family unit – just get ready for tomorrow. Fast food or freezer warmups shortened time together with many times just being a few moments in the car on the way home.
No real sharing of events (after all YOU had a hard day) much less sharing to the point that your experience could enhance their newly found knowledge from school. No family group projects – no family chores – no family laughs, cheers or bonding – just watch that video or TV program while I de-stress and we might get a little time together for homework – maybe.
Are you beginning to “feel” the movement of home -based family values evaporate? This is the beginning of our “present times”. This is the beginning of the how and why – but is this the future you really want for your children and grandchildren. Lets spend a few weeks exploring more of the how’s and why’s hoping we can see how better choices for families can change their future and make a difference for the future of our children and the country we live in now.
IT IS ABOUT CHOICE – are you willing to keep following the Jones (herd mentality) or maybe it’s time to CHOOSE FAMILY FIRST AGAIN.